I have completed 2 rounds of chemotherapies. I am schedule to receive my 3rd chemotherapy treatment on this coming Monday. I did not encounter any problem after my first chemotherapy, but the second chemotherapy did give some surprises. After the second chemotherapy, I developed sore throat, ulcers in the tongue, dry palms, tingling sensation in my arm, loss of appetite, and chest pains. I do hope, after the 3rd chemotherapy, the side effects will be minimized and manageable. I do not look forward to this coming Monday’s treatment, but what choice do I have, it is part of the necessary actions in the recovery of my health. Whatever it is, I do hope the coming blood test qualify me to be medically fit to receive my 3rd chemotherapy.
As I mentioned in my previous journal entry that, cancer has changed my life, and it will never be the same again. Indeed, the previous few months has been a very difficult but enlightening experience.
Every morning, I wake up to the realization that, I have to live with that extra lump of protoplasm in my body. That protoplasm is not just any amoeba splitting and dividing at an exponential rate, but potentially a biological time bomb that will eventually consume me if my treatment regime failed. The more I tried to forget about my current negative health, the more I am being reminded of the fragility of life. Every morning, I wake up with abdominal pain and congested chest. Those nasty mutants do have a persistent way of trying to demoralize me with their nasty actions of inflicting consistent pains to my body, and fears into my mind. But I am still a logical sane man, to recover my health, I need to have stronger determination and faith in GOD of not allowing fears and physical pains to poison my mental well-being. I know where I stand in the great scheme that the Almighty designed for me, the mighty God will eventual make a way for me in the right direction to attain spiritual enlightenment to overcome my emotional fears and physical pains.
My niece gave me a new Bible with bigger print because I was struggling and having trouble reading the small print Bible. As I flipped through the pages of the new Bible, the following verses came out. :
“And he saith unto them, Because of your little faith: for verily I say unto you, if ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you.” – Matthew 17:20.
I know, it is a long road ahead for me to win this battle against Cancer. But I have faith in the Almighty that eventually, I shall overcome this medical condition to claim my entitled victory. “My enemies (tumor) will retreat when I call to you for help, This I know: God is on my side” Psalm 56:9.
I can sense the presence of Almighty God around me. I know, he is cheering me on to have more faith in HIM. I shall.
I am here to live my life. Praise the Lord.